Hey

ive had a  realitivly happy past few days its been nice sure its not all been happy but still on average happy its been nice

its kool i havnt really started to get into a 'mood' or anything its almost like i was with her again .....

anyway anyway dad said something to me that reminded me of wen we first started going out lol!! wen we started going out dad noticed that i was extra happy and asked me "who died?" that made me laugh/giggle for ages and today wen they came home dad said to me "are you just happy we're home or has someone died?" that really got me laughing again the first time this year that i can remember being overwhelmed with laughter

=) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =) =)

we wat do u know its 2006

heil hitler

I dont deserve anything. I cant believe god has put me where i am i dont deserve none of it. why does he give good people struggling lives and me this 1? Its a pity i wnt get to meet him i have lots of questions that need answering. im glad i didnt go out for new years im 2 much of a downer .. sure its easy to act realativly happy but to be happy is harder than it is die which is harder than live a crap life

i really need a pistol

who really are the ignorant rednecks??

are they right wingers like me who know exactly why they are right wingers because the majority of their beliefs are classed in that ideological group?

or are they the "right wingers" who class themselves and right wingers just because they believe in one aspect of the right wing philosophies? eg racism

or are they the people who turn their nose up at people who are right wing just because of poorly lead right wing states?? eg Nazi Germany

or are they people make a educated opinion and decide they disagree or agree with right wing policies like the first group??

take that away and think about it.

I dont like communism because i see that it is a weak and flawed system which is supported by my ideology and that fact that most communist systems need a degree of capitalism in order to function

Heil Mein Fuehrer

yeap

i would love to 'Put a pistol to my temple and liquidate my brain or even put a grenade in my mouth it would do a nice job'

that is my main line of thought ... i admire leading nazis they could and did

I cant stop loving her ... she is stuck in my mind stuck in my thoughts stuck in my dreams ... even though we barely talk ...

Seig Heil Deutschland

yeap i call dads ute the panzer now cause its silver/grey and yea 2day we put a tonne of cow feed on it and drove it home like adding 1 third of its total weight to it and yea it aced it

but other than that my days been crap and yea im in a hateful of most people mood 2day and yup

yay we won the league take that and smoke it in ur gay bars australia 24 0

hahahaha

but yea im still not over her ... but im trying ...

Heil Hitler

hey!

yea i got my slug gun back from my mate who is a gun enthuis... i duno how to spell that word but crikey its good and was nice of him to fix it and very genorous of him. its great it shoots and all lol im guna have fun shooting stuff fixing my aim etc etc cause im alot out of practice

yeap other than that ive had a fun day wen i went to pick christian up from his exam i kinda had fun talking to people then i went and took a friend to her work i unwittingly tooted lmao!! the poor examiners!!! im sooo reckless and careless sometimes but i just have to laugh at my stoopidness and carry on oh well

=s

cya heil hitler

well today i .....

*went to town and turned down cash converters offer to rip me off

*took christian to visit his german friend would was quite pretty

*got from hawera (her place) to home in 25-30 mins to watch 'Hogans Heros'

*watched TV

*studied for history

*nominated george bush for time magazines person of the year!!

*now am blogging

so ive had a busy day and yea i hope i pass history its a favourite subject of mine so yeap

did u know adolf hitler was time magazines man of the year?? so yea just another fact and yeap ok then

heil hitler

yea i got up and watched england try to beat us and yea that ref was a noddy and that made me angry. and yea i missed like the last 20 mins cause i went to milk at the lincoln rd property but wen i got there i listened 2 it on the radio and yup we won naturally england only got close because we were down 2 13 men at 1 stage and 13 vs. 16 + touch judges isnt a easy game so yeap

and yeap i milked and was quite tired wen i gots back and i sleeped i have to make a appointement to go c the docter soon my body is going funny and yeap but ill b sweet

some fuckers r prank calling my nana by just ringing her and breathing heavy on the fone its so funi she has a convosation with them its a pity i wanted to talk 2 them but she hung the fone up be4 i got there =( i would have been fun to make a monkey out of them so yea

and yup thats about all i can think of to rite at the moment

heil hitler

yea the exams are just about close enuf to hit me with their really sharp swords so yea its difficult but yea study study study!!!

other than that life is pretty slow and pointless ...... ive regarrisoned myself in my room so im sweet plenty of alone time and me but yup almost payday!! new fone!! wickid!!

ok g2g bye bye

hey all

yea i havent ben using my comp alot lately so yea wat can u do?

i got my restricted so yay!! i bet the corrupt system!!

i drive alot now for fun its soo nice being free!!!

ok g2g cya later

yeap im back so ive deleted a fair few blogs late spring cleaning but hey wat can u do im soo tried skool is exausting theres like no1 here in my german period so yea im like all alone lol

Heil Hitler

Well im kinda depressed so i was looking through the shops and i found another war movie!!! ive seen it before and decided i need 2 find it on dvd so i got it cost me $40 but munis not important its called "A Bridge too Far" and its got heaps of kool actors that i reconise like anthony hopkins, gene hackman, sean connery, michael caine and that guy that played sergeant-mayor wagner in escape from sobibor!!!! its sooooooo kool its about operation market garden a typical FM bernard montgomery plan which failed miserably so i laughed and cryed and had a good time ... there was this SS Panzer General ummm ludwig i think the name was he was koooool and there was SS general bittrich and FM von rundstedt there and FM model and it was koool some of my favourite generals model and von rundstedt and yea there was fighting and panzers and the SS and yea the germans won!!! but then again the allies were up against SS Panzer divisons so its understandable and yeap

Heil Hitler

Today i got halfway through my geo 1 on issues i should be gud at it i have enough so yea im praying im going 2 win with either merit or excellence but i doubt excellence if i did i would be so happy to be able to prove to some people that i can still score well if i want to but its still pretty far out of sight ... maths 1 maybe tomorrow depends i have to work and i want to be on the ball to be able to pass with decent marks so yea

awww i luv her ... today in maths and history i couldnt help but steal glances at her ... its incredible i used to dream of ww2 battles and how i could have changed them and then how i would have won and built glorious divisions and armies that could smash anything about the SS and there black uniform and aryan looks ... but now i dream of her ... god dam i hate excessive like

Heil Hitler

ohh man wat a day it started crappy then it got ok then it was wickid but now its crap again. hah geo exam tomorrow =s dammit!!! i best read the resource its all on a issue so im like hahaha i have lost of them so i should be sweet

oh well jusr a little word of advice dnt drink after a injection it fucks u up big time

i miss her ...... fuckit!!

Heil Hitler

social times back!!! fucking yay today was fucking shitty yet another incredibly bad day

hmmm i saw her 2day twice she said hi i said hi well i think i did i was very fluttery and yea ... i miss her ... but i dnt have a choice ... :'(

well im such a fucking idiot wat can i say other than that? i had my sum favourite foods today salami, coke, squiggle biscuts mmm comfort eating

Heil Hitler

I had a dream this morning it almost made me cry

I got a txt from her and it said "who is the one whos ment to be backing down from a realationship between us?" 
I txt back u
She txt back "because i dont want to do it anymore"
Then i woke up i checked my clock at 8:42 my heart was racing
I sooo wished it was real but it wasnt ...

Heil Hitler

Yay go cantabury beating the jafas

but other than that tiredness and yea social isolation is killing me. but oh well ive downloaded some more music so ill b sweet

watching the rugby made me miss her ... dam it .. but wat can i do?

Heil Hitler and SIEG HEIL DEUTSCHLAND

The rugby was great, the atmosphere, the game and the abusing the ref. I like venting my anger but im rather hoarse now. steve walsh mwhahaha he wont be coming back to taranaki i reckon not with all my abuse. Im such a evil basterd

just talking to her on msn .... god do i miss her .... now shes texting me ..... its hard shes soo lovely ..... why was i such a fucking dick

which reminds me at halftime i went with leo for a walk and he got sum food i walked past this chick that looked like azaria i took a second look and she said "hey ur hot" fucking piss taker i thought, laughed and kept walking god it was funny

but oh well Heil Hitler

Well at the moment i feel absolutly fucking shocking im soo incredibally depressed. Its got to be true once u get depression u can never truely get rid of it. In life its got to be true nobody really does give a dam all you really have for certain is your family ... i really just have my old man and my nana but nobody really to fully talk to ...

Heil Hitler

Screw luv im sick of this bulls**t so im going back to what im best at Nazism ... something to base my life around ... its great so yea screw everything else and HEIL MEIN FUEHRER!!!!

So yea i had a okish day today tommorrow i got the rugby to look forward 2 so yeap

Heil Hitler

Today was ok yesterday was nice and yea things r i bit nicer..

I txt her and told her how i feel and yea her responce to the big things was "k" so yea she doesnt care but that dont matter i still love her ...

I got a new 5:1 sounds system for my comp yay ive been needing 1 for ages

Yesterday i got it and that day which i had off i went to see my good friend chloe and we had a jolly gud chin wag and yeap we told each other gurly secrets and stories soo yeap it was nice to socialise

Auf weidersehen and Heil Hitler

Guten tag

yea im soo tired i dont know wat to write but yea

im talking and thinking 2 much about her! ... i cant help it its guna end up driving her away which is the last thing i want to do but oh well

ive ben thinking alot about suicide lately its a interesting concept except every time its on my mind examples arise like a old neighbour mr davison who had just brought more land for his farm for him and his son to work but then his son did it .... he had to sell up .... then today me and dad went to a guys place to talk to him about sumthing i cant remember wat a mr peter? loveridge i think but he had 3 sons now hes got 2 because of 1 did it too but yea ... i duno the matter is old for me in a better frame of mind to this about thoroughly

Heil Hitler und der Reichfuehrer SS

Well today im feel better .... ish but wat can u do met up with a mate yesterday yet another link removed 1 less 'friend' things are going smoothly

i txt her this morning i cnt remember wat it was about entirely i was real tired but yea .....

life goes on .....

sooo much anger, hate ..... i cnt wait 4 friday! that ref better nt give me a reason ....

Heil Hitler

yea the name says it all i think ill just do the honorable thing and die my rage to day was pretty wickid i was workin and i gave the quadbike a total thrashing it was fun but not because i was in 'a mood' and to tell the truth still am and would mind murdering a few people but that irrelavent the first people on my hate list r the popup makers those f**king basterds i could sooo easily kill them and their families those basterds but oh well and the next would be the virus people god theyre c**ts and nxt a few friends who just like to take take take and only pretend to be your friend to dump shit on, make up the numbers and use u to make themselfs look feel better bout themselves god i hate being fucked around by things freezing up on my computer and it pisses me off how the worlds against you. i hate incompetants in all its ways like this thing i was watching saying how the biggest german disavantage in this certain part of the war was rifle etc etc. the allies having better ones and that but not to mention that most of the german army were using sub machineguns/semi automatics but hey carry on ur only making a complete dick of urself

so i rant and rave on at least im going into np/the city tomorrow so ill be able to have some fun and c peoples and people that i hate and everything

Heil Hitler

awwww ... im still loving her ... shes so god dam great ... she wnt read this just because i asked her not to dam ... thats loyalty and gudness at its best so yea im listening to the song i think well i say is/ was our song "mein opa war sturmfuehrer bei der SS" she liked it! ... i miss her!!! ... but wat can i do ... i was just talking to her on msn ... shes great ... OMG IVE CLICKED i totally understand now it was right under my nose!!! how did i not observe/reconise it SHE IS TOO GOOD FOR ME!!!! omg omg omg how did i not realise it its sooo true no wonder it failed how could i be soo stupid dammit! haha

HEIL HITLER MEIN FUEHRER!

mums

i go out and eat my tea in the lounge "come out of my cave" as she would say. One thing i know is i like "my cave" a hell of alot more than i like her company. Shes the most sexist bitch i know when i fight with my sister battles which she usually starts (which saves me a job, which im eager to finish) when i gain the upperhand and the fite goes again her which is normal she trys to pull it to a halt with her almighty "thats enough" naturally i dont listen to such rot and then the 'threats' come and i retreat to the calm and beautiful anti-bitch and pro-just atmosphere which is my room and i can mellow out and ease my fucking anger for that pompus and agrivating woman who gave birth to me

Heil Hitler

Well today i broked my routine i went on a farm thingy with dad and yea won a prize for getting the rank of these cows in order so yea i did pretty gud i like chocolate ... mmmmm it was nice to get my mind off things

and then i got home and came on here and talked to my friend chloe and yeap it was nice to have some social contact with friends cause its the end of the month and yea nobodies txting but me =( but yea and then i watched hogans heros for the 2nd day in a row!!! god im lucky and then this thing on waterloo and yeap im having a gud day except for the family except thats normal

so now that every1s home i retreat to my tiny fortress and write to u peoples and yea dammit tiredness! and after my nice day no matter wat i do i have to dream off about certain peoples ........ dam i have to txt them ..... lol i duno things go to quick .... theres no dedication in this world! i need total commitment thats y i cant understand some guys commitment problems but then again wats there not to understand they can commit fullstop but oh well theyve probably been there dun that ....

Heil Hitler

Im back writing again ..... 2 more days until the end of the month and social contact is restored well hopefully ..... batterys almost dead 5 hrs sleep aint enough ....... i miss her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! god dammit! but its better this way i suppose. i just wasnt feeling the love ..... which was saddening ... but i was with her that was the main thing but now im not ... i always used to txt her first thing in the morning as soon as i woke i had to txt her just to know she was still there .... i miss that .... i miss the hugs .... i miss the feeling i got of just being there .... watching her .... studing her .... it plagued my mind 'how could i be so lucky'.... but now were not together .... its sad ... for me .... its hard to describe my thoughts and feelings but ..... i have to try ive bottled shit up all my life not having much of a way to express it .... its not healthy

but now in the other side of my mind the armies are marching ... lol! i have to keep myself amused somehow ... keep myself sane ... occupy my thoughts with "more pleasent" matters atrocities, clashes, slaughters, battles, stories .... "more pleasent"

Heil Hitler

Well this is my first blog its strange wat is there to write about but i got time to burn my day at the moment consists of: 5 oclock start milking etc on our other property till 10 then i go home for breakfast then at 11 i go to do some work till 2:30ish then home or to the house have afternoon tea then go to milk at 3-3:30 and then get in at 6 have tea watch tv and do stuff like this till about 11 or 12 then i get some sleep and then my cycle starts over ....

I miss school ... sad to say holidays r no fun at school i can talk about things with my comrades leo and steph and other people. I recently broke up with a girl ....... i wish i didnt i wish i didnt have to ...... but thats life .... shit happens ..... i can be a man ...... i can stomach the pain ....... its my fault ...... carry on colombus ...... i miss her ...............

Its nice to express things here i like the diary type of thing

But yeap love has come and gone once again ...... ill go back to my war games and books and tv programs and other habits. The world seems a very lonely place ..... it not like school where every1s around you day after day ...... people move away ..... people have to work ....... routines are used ....... you dnt see people you want to as much ..... its too easy to become a hermit or drone and just work away and have no social life ........ its strange

As for bush i say good on him for tracking those terrorists down. sure they mite be fighting a holy war but screw them if they want to kill civilians they should be hunted down and dealt to there is no place in society for that holy or not its unacceptable.

Aufweidersehn and heil hitler